Wow, you’d think after a long day at work that coming home to a semi-clean house would be a blessing.
Wrong.
Upon arriving home, Mason always wants to play outside. Who could blame him? We have a nice yard, there are toys and a garden to explore. Unfortunately today is raining, I’m hungry and there is no time to play outside.
Tantrum ensues.
I carry a kicking Mason into the house while explaining that it’s not nice to hit and that it’s raining and it’s time to come inside.
He then hits me on the shoulder.
Continue with the ‘it’s not nice to hit’ story and then off to his room he goes for a time out. The room consists of two beds (his and mine) and there isn’t anything for him to play with (other than the neglected stuffies).
I shut the door and can hear him yelling, “No” in regular intervals. This is his ‘mad’ stage. He’s trying to be defiant with me not in the room. I heard some noises and then a thump. I’m not worried but at the same time wonder what made the thud.
Opening the door (with angry Mom face on) and I see Mason standing on his bed. His blankets are up against the door, stuffies scattered and there at the foot of the bed is his bed rail (plastic) in two pieces. It does come unassembled but he has clearly torn it away from his bed and lifted it up so it came apart. I guess he was quite mad.
I know he hasn’t broken it but this is a serious situation and the first time I’ve witnessed more aggressive actions from him. I quickly think of how I’m going to direct my tone and actions so that he knows I’m serious.
“Mason! What happened!?”, I keep my tone low, not quite yelling.
“The bed…I frew….broken” is all I can decipher.
“The bed guard is broken, is that good or bad?”.
He hesitates…
“Bad” then “Mommy fix”
“No, Mason broke it, Mason has to fix it”.
He seems perplexed at this and a bit angry I won’t help him.
So I go into explanation that destroying his bed was not a good thing to do and now he must fix the bed guard and clean up his tantrum.
I try to keep a straight face as my determined 2 year old drags the frame of the bed guard over to the bed which keeps getting caught on my bed frame leg. Focused, he frees it and places the guard under the bed where it sits. Then he takes the mesh ‘guard’ and tries to attach it to the guard. It clearly isn’t happening as he doesn’t understand it has a rail and track. I don’t expect him to put the two together but I wait to see how far he gets.
He seems to have relaxed and forgotten about his tantrum so not willing to let this all slide, I explain that it is not acceptable to hit anything. Then I come up with an alternate. I say that it is okay to be mad and that sometimes we get frustrated. If he wants to hit something, he can hit his mattress. Because it won’t hurt it. So then we go through all the things we don’t hit and what he can. He seems to get it. He hits the bed and says, “I am mad”. I’m hoping this works. I got it from the ‘scream into a pillow’ trick for adults.
I tell him that this time I am going to help him fix the bed guard but he cannot throw it again and next time I won’t be able to fix it.
“I’m sorry” he says. It’s genuine lol.
I ask him to clean up the rest of his messy and he gives me a hug.
In the big picture, this is just part of him being a toddler, being two and figuring out feelings and boundaries. I’m just trying to steer him in a non violent direction and hopefully he can vent his frustration through words instead of actions.
At the same time, I’m trying to keep my cool, not yell, explain rather than act out and hope that he understands.
This parenting gig sure can be hard sometimes. To make me feel better I'm stuffing my face with chocolate and ice cream.