Some doctors shouldn't BE doctors

Oh glorious Friday, the end of the week is here.  Friday couldn't have ended fast enough!  I made an appt with my GP for Monday and decide to go to the clinic in Yaletown after work.  Once I scooted out of work, I walked a few blocks (in the beautiful weather) to the Clinic on Pacific and was happy to see no long line and no stupid sign that read 'no more patients today'.  I anxiously waited to be called in.  The words I was waiting to hear were quickly approaching.

I need to pee...again.  I was hoping they'd do some other test.  This peeing on a stick thing is getting old.  Apparently that's the test so I give them a little sample and I wait in the room.  I want to read but my mind is too distracted.  The Dr comes in, introduces herself and this is the conversation;

  • DR - "I understand you think you are pregnant" 

  • J - "Yes"

  • DR - Well you are.  (mean monotone voice)

  • J - "okay"

  • DR - "you don't seem surprised"

  • J - "No, I thought I might have been"

  • DR - "Are you happy about this?" (mean flat voice)

  • J - "Extremely"

  • DR - "Okay, go make an appointment with your real DR".  Leaves Room

  • J - "wow" (to myself)

  • That woman chose the wrong career, she had the worst bedside manner I've ever heard.  Oh well, I left the office a bit shaky and happy to have heard it from someone.  I am pregnant.  I am having a baby.  Wow.  Oh yeah, guess I should call Clayton.  At this point I wanted to call the world.  The phone conversation with Clayton was brief.  He knew on Wednesday.  Of course he did.

    I head home and I wonder who else I can tell.  I know you are supposed to stay pretty quiet until the 3rd month.  I did an estimate of the due date online and I'm supposedly in my fifth week.  I am due early March.  I was also born in March and I was two weeks late.  This is going to be the best bday present ever.

    I am now at home and I need to pack, fast.  Clayton is picking me up soon and we are heading to Edmonton to visit his family.  Family I have yet to meet.   Wow.  My Mom calls and I try to keep my ''everything is calm & cool" tone of voice cause my Mom is amazing at reading me not to mention I'm a HORRIBLE liar!  We have general conversation and I think it's all going well until she asks me why I'm going to visit his family all of a sudden and why we are booking a trip out to see them so soon?  Is there 'something' going on she should know about.  I play dumb.  My mind is racing.  I don't want to lie but does she really know? How could she know? uh oh, I'm doomed.   A few questions persist, I continue to be dumb and finally she asks me if I'm 'with child' (yes, an odd way to ask but that's what came out of her mouth!) and I say "what if I am' to gauge a reaction.  She pauses and asks again "Are you pregnant".  Not one to lie, I say nothing.  My silence gives away the answer.  I meekly reply "yes, I'm pregnant".  Then the flood of questions comes pouring out of newly exposed Grandma to be.  "are you serious? how are you feeling? when did you find out? Does Clayton know? Does his parents know? Are you getting married?".  Holy crap.  Wasn't prepared for this!  My Mom has a nervous yet excited tone and I answer it all and explain that marriage has been discusssed but no plans as of yet.  This little baby is enough for right now.

    My Dad comes into the house after a day of work.  I want to tell him, Mom says to lead into it, don't blurt it out.  I chitchat with Dad nervously and he tells me about his day.  I say "Dad, I have some news that might make your day better".

  • "Dad, you are going to be a Grandpa"

  • "..."

  • "..."

  • "..." (feels like a minute passes)

  • "Dad, I'm pregnant"

  • "..."

  • "..."

  • "..." (feels like another minute passes)

  • "Dad, for God sakes SAY SOMETHING"

  • "Jodelene, don't do this to me, I'm 61 years old, quit joking around"

  • "...I'm not joking.  I'm having a baby"

  • "..."

  • I can hear my Mom laughing in the background "You should see his face".  I can picture it.  He's staring off into space and motionless.  Deer in headlights.  My Dad then changes the subject to 'how is the car doing' and rambles on about how great of a friend Scott is.  Lol mini distraction.  Back to the baby....he says he's going to need a few days to recover from the blow but he is happy.  Phone is passed back to Mom and the baby conversation resumes.

    Over the course of an hour, I think Mom and I called eachother back about 5 times, I spoke to my Dad again (who started to come around) and I packed, not well I might add.  Clayton phones and announces he told his parents (which we were going to wait on) but he figured since I was about to meet them in a few hours...might as well.  Wow this is going to be one crazy trip.   Wow.

     This stick was nicer than the doctor

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