Sleep, my little prince

I haven't seen Mason in 6 days.  We are on a temporary 7 on 7 off schedule which I'm having a hard time adjusting to.  It's a long time to be away from your little one.

It is Clayton's time with Mason today but he had to work so he dropped Mason off for a few hours.  It's kind of weird 'babysitting' your own child.  My house has been very quiet without the monkey.  His toys are all neatly lined up in his room, waiting for some interaction.   After he came through my front door, as soon as I received a huge hug, he was off to the playroom to grab all the toys he had forgotten he had.  It was quite funny to watch, he didn't know what to play with first.

After his dad left, it was time for some lunch (he didn't eat much) and then I delayed nap time for at least a half hour as I wasn't quite ready to miss him again. 

I had just washed Mason's binky's in the sink and wondered if I could get away with hiding them since he hasn't had them 'with me' for over a week.  I read Mason a story and while he showed signs of sleepiness, he clearly wasn't going to go down without a struggle.  He asked for binky and I explained that binky was in the garbage and that the garbage man had taken the binky away.  He seemed okay with this.  However upon exiting his room, his cries for "Mama" pulled at my heart strings and I had a hard time letting him sob to sleep.  So back in I went, pulled him out and cuddled him close.  I figured a nice cuddle in my bed would be nice so I put him beside me, tucked him in and finally he relaxed.  I drank in his baby scent and watched his hands knead his favorite blankie (Blue marshmallow from Kyle & Deena) and closed my eyes every time he turned his head my way to pretend I was sleeping. 

In only a week, he seems so much older.  So much more like a little boy.  I still have a hard time believing that he's 'mine'.  That he lived in my belly for 10 months and that I gave birth to him.  It's overwhelming to realize your part of  being a Mother.  My eyes follow the outline of his little face.  The curve of his nose and his little lips.  He's completely quiet, looking around the room.  I can see his eye lids fluttering but no sign of them closing for sleep.  I take my chances, I want to be closer to him.  So I scoot over and nuzzle his neck.  He still doesn't stir.  Well not at first, but soon he realizes that Mommy is not asleep so he sits up and gives me this mischievous smile.  Good job Mom.  So much for the peaceful rest.

I quietly tell Mason that it's still nap time and pull him into my arms.  I gently sing a few nursery rhymes (he's now at the stage where he 'requests' songs).   His left arm plays with my hair and the other hand clutches his blanket.   I feel his body relax and his lips are on my neck.  I can feel his jaw move and wonder if  he's sucking on my neck for lack of the binky.  Finally his limbs start to twitch and I'm confident he's asleep.  I lay him down into his crib and he finally goes to sleep.

Sleep well, my little Prince. I miss you already.

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